Agnostic’s letter to himself

Far atop the pinnacle I see

There is a fire – what might it be?

It is a will, a will to infuriate and burn, to condense the mist

Infuriated by my own mist, wandering, is me

Sniffing, coughing, shaking, trembling

Basically, struggling, you see

When my fears festered far over my will

A young fire got lost within me

No motivation, no passion

Rid of dedication, essentially

How would I ever reach to the top of the hill?

Caught in the darkest of my aura,

There stood a glistening tree beside me.

It smiled, was undefiled, an eternal beauty

It’s branches started spreading gradually

Reaching to the top of that hill

I landed on it’s branch, it automated me

Agnostically weird, ironically swayed

Automatically, I reached to the top of the hill

Flabbergasted, when I was on the verge

Of transition to a blind believer, the tree smirked at me

It pounded, I got grounded and astounded

As if a dream ended suddenly

I saw a town, when I looked down

It’s name was “belief in me”

Lightning crashed, brain abashed

There were many ways leading to the town

Whenever a way closes it’s path

Many other’s will lead to the inner me

Fire infuriated, sniffing vanquished

I learned the importance of belief in the darkest of times

I found a way, I went down the way

Do the same; I’ll find you and you’ll find me

Adrift

Marvellous.

Impalpable Rants

Here today, I see no wind above the horizon,

That once had the will to fleet and stun all lives.

I am on my porch standing with my arms wide open,

To utmost nothingness but a faded sillage.

Urged to the weakness of my will to see a phantom,

That glided through cries and flattered its vanity.

I murmured not long before a beam pierced through,

To unravel a bend within the passage I nearly sunk into.

How an unspoken tale yearns to be heard,

By eyes that flipped through its pages recklessly,

But Oh! Crying out to the unsighted, would they hear

My words abounded with stillness?

Hanging unwoven threads of hope, is it true

That I would plummet to an endless descent?

Clenching my fists around an unattested spar,

Will I have my footprints marked again on home? 

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A letter to her

From the dew on perfectly mowed grass

To the first proton of sunshine

There exists a time

When I lay wide awake

Imagine my plight

And that separation fright

Imbecile thoughts

That whirls up the biggest sandstorms and the worst droughts

How gently you started talking to me again

Told me how confused I am

When fervor of seclusion kicked me hard

I am super afraid of going back to the start

And making the same blunder

Setting me asunder

Of you

But the worst thing is, I never knew

My mistakes

You never told me

There was no one to hold me

And introduce me to the ghost which daunted the very core of my soul

When we stopped texting, calling and all

Are you still at the same crossroad where you were months ago

Or are we ready to start things again and ready to go

Ready to ride

Ready to fly

Or is my thinking too wry

And you still feel the same about me

Are you the same to me?

Please try trying.

©harshitrajpal

I get scared

Scared

Yes I am

A crap load amount

This is not the first time

And this won’t be the last time

Time comes and time goes

What is the correct logic, who knows? What to do

And what not to

Which way to choose

Whether I’ll win this gamble Or I’ll loose

When your memories leave marks on My face, creating that ever lasting scar

When you’ll just run off leaving sentimental door ajar

Memories fade

Memories made

But when

I don’t see you

Like I want to

I get scared

Give me a belt

I want to whip myself today

That I was unable to tell you

What I always wanted to convey

And now I see you whirling in a pool of quarrel, shouts and insecurities Surely, some vulnerabilities

I think I might be obsessed with you Stress is no longer a stress

When I am with you

I burp my dreams and lick my fears

Confused, sometimes I break in tears

A different taste

A different shade

But when I don’t see you

Like I want to

I get scared

नेत्र नहीं होंगे

war

धरती माँ की सौगंध लिए

आ खड़े हैं आज सीमा पर

मेरे भाई, ये जंग आख़िर जंग क्यू?

राजनीतिक गोली बारी मे

हम सैनिक दफ़न क्यू?

क्या भूल गये वो दीवाली के लड्‍डू

वो इड की सेवीयाँ

जो तार के पार की थी हमने

वो रफ़ी के नगमे

वो घालिब की गज़ल

जो एक साथ माइक पर गायी थी हमने

तो फिर आज ऐसा क्या हुआ

के उन्ही हाथ मे माइक की जगह

बंदूक ताने उसी जगह पर खड़े हैं

जहाँ कभी जलेबियन भी बनाई थी हमने

भोर की पहली किरण जब तेरे चेहरे

को स्पर्श करके इन ज़ख़्मो को उजागर करेगी

तो क्या चेहरा दिखाउंगा खुद को

तेरे उस परिवार को

जिसे जंग का सही मतलब तक नही तूने बताया

जब तेरी छोटी बेहेन मोटरसाइकल की आवाज़ सुनके

दौड़ी दौड़ी आँगन में आएगी

एक सन्नाटे सी दुनिया में रो जाएगी

उन वसीहत के काग़ज़ों का क्या

जो तेरी माँ ने तेरे नाम किए थे

और सबसे उपर,

उस खुदा का क्या

जो क़यामत की रोज़ मुझसे पूछेगा

की ऐसी क्या बुलंदी पा ली तूने

ये खुश आनंदित परिवार उजाड़ कर

शायद मैं किसी को ये चेहरा नही दिखा पाऊंगा

इसलिए नहीं की मेरे पास जवाब नहीं होंगे

पर शायद इसलिए

की कल देखने के लिए,

ये मेरे भी नेत्रा नहीं होंगे

Thoughts of a Rasgulla

maxresdefault.jpgOn this auspicious day of Raksha Bandhan

I would happily like to get inside your stomach

And create a sensation of joy

With my syrupy balls, you’ll cheer “Oh, Boy!”

When this semolina goes inside you, it will be nothing but bliss

For I am a Bengali sweet and we are a specialty

Don’t you even think about going with fucking Jalebi!

That bitch doesn’t exist without Rabdi

We should have our own personality

She is more expensive than me

And less tasty than me

Excuse me, ma’am, don’t look at that Jalebi!

And of course, it is hot outside, eat me eat me I am cool

Hey, Kiddo, stop your laddoo-drool

Pick up a piece of laddoo and he’ll break

Just like your girlfriend gave you heartbreak, last week

Sometimes joining diverse stuff together doesn’t do you good

Why are you peopling going by spoiling my mood?

Picking up all the sweets around me

But me
I mean, I know I get stale after a day but hey!

You can eat me right out of the fridge at 2 AM in the night

When you feel lonely and nothing is bright

Depression, quarrels, fights. Just give it a break

And remember there is something that will always love you

  1. Your family
  2. Our species

Buy a kilo of me for god’s sake

Uncle, no! Not that cake!